Saturday, May 23, 2015

Bad Grammar Makes You Look Unprofessional -- And Stupid

Just got this tweet from Historic Scotland:

A hand was found by archaeologists, clutching a goblet. How? Why? Find out in our blog about food, drink and sieges

Really? The archaeologists were clutching a goblet?  Didn't that make it hard for them to dig?

This is called a "misplaced modifier."  It can make even the most serious sentence hilarious.
The corrected version should read, "Archaeologists found a hand clutching a goblet."

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Possibly The Dumbest, Most Dangerous Driver Ever

Utah has laws now about using seat belts and even (finally) making calls and texting while driving.  But the idiots with the dogs are still free to be idiots.
Seriously, if it's distracting to text while driving, how is it not distracting to have a dog on one's lap while driving?  I've seen people with dogs the size of bison calves actually causing their cars to rock back and forth as the animals ran from window to window.  I've seen people with dogs from the size of large rats to as large as Golden Retrievers on their laps while they drive.
I've thought these people to be risking their own and others' safety.
But a day or two ago, I saw the absolutely most idiotic dog driver ever.
I exited the freeway and came up behind a middle-aged woman at a red light on a six-lane MAJOR traffic artery with heavy traffic.  She was on a motorized scooter.  As the light changed, I noticed that she was not only traveling 5 miles lower than the posted speed limit and 10 miles below the average speed on the road -- thus causing a lengthy back up behind her, but also that she had a medium-sized dog standing on the foot rest of the scooter.  It was not secured in any way.  One small bump would have sent that dog flying -- and caused a multi-car pile up while I tried to miss the dog.  Not only would the dog die, but possibly several people.
Absolutely, she was an idiot.  But I bet anything she'd call herself an animal lover. *rolls eyes*

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

This Is Why English Is Required For Four Years In High School

Otherwise, we get "professional writers" who give us headlines like this one:

Dog Found in Dead Owner's Arms After Texas Tornado Has New Home

"Emma went and crawled up underneath his [her former owner's] arm for comfort, so a very sad situation -- but she's going to have a good home," said Cindy Nash, the director of Nicholas Pet Haven. Michelle Shockley, who works as a supervisor at a nearby zoo and helped with the rescue, said Emma was…
Good Morning America

Uh... the tornado has a new home?  It moved from Texas to another state?
Try it this way:
Dog Has New Home After Owner Killed In Texas Tornado

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Writing Prompt Photo: Quintessentially Utah

(Click on the photo to enlarge.)

A mostly rotted pier stands with a tumbleweed beside it on Black Rock Beach with the Great Salt Lake and a flock of seagulls in the distance.  How much more Utah could this possibly get?  (OK, cue the polygamy jokes here.)

Feel like writing a Western?  An adventure?  Try this out for an idea-starter. :)

Saturday, May 2, 2015

And the Winner Is......

Janet K., who entered by e-mail!
Janet, your e-copy of Becoming Brigid is on its way!