In Which I Get Really Geeky And Discuss Disney Characters Re-Imagined As Hogwarts Students

There are just so many, many things about which I can't write right now that I have slim pickings for entertaining blog posts.  Thus, when I saw a Buzzfeed article in which an artist who goes by Eira 1893 had re-imagined Disney royals as Hogwarts kids, I thought I'd do some psychoanalysis of their personalities and decide if I agree with which Hogwarts houses into which they were placed.

So, since Merida is my all-time favorite Disney princess, let's start with this drawing which contains her.  It looks like Eira has placed Merida in Griffindor, and I agree.  Merida climbs sheer cliffs by herself and fights off a bear.  Yeah, BRAVE is the word.  Seriously, where else would you put her?  Duh.  (But that's a horrible drawing of her.  Yuck.)
However, the artist has put Aladdin in Griffindor and Jasmine in Slytherin.  Huh?  I'd put him, with his criminal tendencies, into Slytherin, which is where Flynn Rider has been placed, but I'd put her into Hufflepuff, which is where those who are not particularly talented in anything go.  Also, I'd put Rapunzel into Hufflepuff as well.  She's nowhere near smart enough to be a Ravenclaw, which is where Eira has put her (based on the stripes of her socks).

This one is spot-on, though.  The slimy Naveen is Slytherin, and Tiana, who's dumb enough to fall for him and give up all her plans, is Hufflepuff.  Yes, I agree.

Prince Charming as Griffindor?  Really?  He doesn't even do anything in the story except look for the girl.  That's not brave.  I'd put him in Hufflepuff.  But Cinderella faces up to her wretched step-family every day, and then goes to the ball by herself in borrowed clothes, still hoping to avoid recognition by the evil women who demean and abuse her.  SHE should be Griffindor, not him!  Switch these two!

Tarzan, Mr. Buff Dude, as Griffindor.  Well, OK.  I'd think maybe more of Hufflepuff.  Jane as Ravenclaw?  Yeah, she is pretty bookish.  Now, Milo -- ah!  Steampunk Disney before it was even cool! -- Milo is definitely Ravenclaw, but I guess Kida could be Ravenclaw or the Griffindor shown.

Now, I can handle Philip as Griffindor; he does have to hack through all those vines and fight off Malificent, after all.  But Aurora as Ravenclaw?  If she's so smart, how come she pricked her finger on the spindle in the first place?  She doesn't even do anything in the show; she's only a prize to be won.  Nyah, this chick is Hufflepuff.

Eric as a Griffindor I can see, but Ariel's mostly just stupid.  I'd say Hufflepuff.  As for Snow White -- THAT'S Snow White??  Seriously?  That does not even resemble the Disney girl!  But yeah, I'd say stick her and her boring prince (He has a name? Florian?  Really?) in Hufflepuff.

Belle in Ravenclaw and Beast in Slytherin.  Perfect!!  (Now, kick him in the groin, girl, and avoid that whole Stockholm Syndrome thing before it's too late!  Hogwarts has a better library anyway!)

And now, our Frozen friends....  Hans as Slytherin -- definitely.  Anna as Hufflepuff, yup.  But Elsa should be there, too.  She's no Ravenclaw, by any means; she's not that smart.  Kristoff is a bit doofy, yes, but he's very brave.  I'd say he goes in Griffindor!

Thank you.  I shall now replace the Sorting Hat on the shelf in Professor Dumbledore's office and leave you to your regularly scheduled Saturday evening activities.