Until last night, I had never attempted a hook/book blurb for this volume, but now I present it to you, my readers.
Think you’ve got a weird family?
Eric’s mother is clearly in love with his own first-cousin-once-removed, Patrick, who just happens to be a vampire. Eric thinks Patrick would be the world’s coolest step-dad, but Mom’s in no mood for matrimony. Worse than that, her side of the family hasn’t spoken with her in Eric’s entire lifetime -- at least until Eric and his waaaaay too attractive cousin Ari both win a piano competition that takes them to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. And into the path of Eric’s biological father, a vampire who’s recently taken to attacking the locals at night. Worse still, Ari finds him eeriely charming.
Can an accidental family reunion get any stranger than this? Eric doesn’t think so. And neither does the self-proclaimed vampire hunter staying right next door to him in the dorm.
It’s going to be one heck of a summer vacation.
What do you think? Would this catch your interest on the back of a book or on an Amazon page? Does it make you want to open the book to find out more?
Suggestions, please. :)
UPDATE: 12/27/11
Let's touch this up a bit and try again:
Think you’ve got a weird family?
Eric’s mother is clearly in love with Patrick, who just happens to be Eric's first cousin once removed. And a vampire. Eric thinks Patrick would be the world’s coolest step-dad, but Mom’s in no mood for matrimony. Worse than that, her side of the family hasn’t spoken with her in Eric’s entire lifetime -- at least not until Eric and his way-too-attractive cousin Ari both win a piano competition that takes them to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. And into the path of Eric’s biological father, a vampire who’s recently taken to attacking the locals at night. Eric's creepy dad finds Ari attractive. Not to mention tasty.
Can an accidental family reunion get any stranger than this? Eric doesn’t think so. And neither does the self-proclaimed vampire hunter staying right next door to him in the dorm.
It’s going to be one heck of a summer vacation.
What do you think now?
If I was interested in vampires it would work for me. Having read the first book I'm intrigued enough to take a look at the second.
ReplyDeleteNot sure about the final sentence. Isn't the fringe festival outside of the summer vacation?
Ah, that comes down to a difference in school holiday timing. Most of the US still follows an agricultural vacation schedule (even in urban areas), so school usually begins the last week in August or the first week in September.(Originally, this was done because kids were needed on farms to help with all the work during the summer.) The Fringe Festival usually takes up most of August, which means an American visiting would be able to take in the first half of the festival or so and still be home in time for kids to start the new school year.
ReplyDeleteI like it. The only thing that struck me as a little odd was the line about his mother being in love with Patrick -- but then saying she's in no mood for matrimony. I know being in love doesn't necessarily mean you're destined for marriage, but the sentences still seemed to oppose each other. Maybe make the second sentence into a positive? "But Mom's only looking for an easy fling..." (Though that may be out of place on the back of a YA novel. You get what I mean, though, I'm sure.)
ReplyDeleteI guess I meant the focus to be on Eric's POV. He wants Patrick for a step-dad, but his mom is just NOT cooperating with the project. Do you think the sentences work when viewed from that angle? He is 15, after all, so the world still revolves around him and not anyone else.
ReplyDeleteOh, I just now noticed I use the word "worse" more than once. Gotta change that.....
ReplyDeleteWhat grabbed my interest the most was the vampire hunter's presence at the sort of family reunion. But I got a little lost in the details -- especially the first cousin once removed thing. And I would like to see the blurb be a little shorter, if only for the sake of getting to the part about the vampire hunter sooner. That is where I see the most potential for excitement, and my biggest draw to the book.
ReplyDeleteGood thoughts. Maybe I'll stick in his name (Basil), but he is a minor character, so I don't want to play him up too much.
ReplyDelete