The Joys Of Misplaced Modifiers #4

Okay, this sentence is so very bad that I had to read it three times to figure out what the writer (Robert Gehrke from the Salt Lake Tribune) had done.
Have a look:

Ann Davies was born to Edward Davies, who emigrated from Wales and founded a company that built heavy machinery and married Mitt Romney in 1968.

The way it's currently written, from "who" to "1968" is an adjective clause modifying the noun "Edward Davies."  But there is an adjective clause within an adjective clause: from "that" to "1968."  The second adjective clause modifies the noun "company," which means that the sentence is actually proclaiming that the company founded by Edward Davies both built machinery AND married Mitt Romney in 1968.
Is Gehrke trying to hint that Romney is really, really into the whole big business thing?  :D

But that sentence is not the only one wherein Gehrke seriously garbles his grammar.  Have a look at this little gem:

Mitt Romney’s great-grandfather, Miles Park Romney, was a Mormon polygamist with five wives, who fled to Mexico to escape a crackdown on the practice of polygamy in the late-1800s and established a settlement there.

The way it's worded and punctuated, we get another bizarre adjective clause: from "who" to "there."  The sentence currently states that the five wives fled to Mexico; I doubt that's what the writer meant.

Well, I think we can safely say that Mr. Gehrke needs either more sleep before he writes articles or at least a better copy editor.

Photo Mysteries: A Writers' Game #29

And it's time once again, ladies and gentlemen, to play our writers' game!  Remember: you don't have to be a writer to play, as it's the shortest of flash fiction ever.
Here's how it works: Carmi, on his Written Inc blog, selects a theme for the week and posts a photo.  Then, here on my blog, I post a photo to match the theme and add a title and a single line of an unwritten story that goes with the photo.  Then, as many readers as possible join in by adding titles and single lines of stories in the comments section.  Simple.
Click here to see a previous game to get a feel for how it works.
This week, Carmi's theme is "parallelism."

Here's my photo:

Title: Jailbreak!
Single line: Ah, ha!  Charlie found a weak spot in the cage.  Soon, very soon, he would have his revenge on Dr. Bunker.

Your turn!  Add your title and single line in the comments section.  Have fun.  :)

One Of My Favorite Lines #2

Doing final (I hope) edits on All in the Half-Vampire Family last night, I ran across this paragraph:

Somehow, I just wasn’t doing well with this girl.  And the image of her pajamas -- if that’s what they were -- was going to make it dang hard to concentrate on Joplin’s “Fig Leaf Rag.”

I giggle over this every time I read it.  But I also know that the average kid will miss the humor by a couple of miles.  :D

Why I Proofread My Manuscripts So Many Times (#5)

Lorenzo merely had merely gone into mild shock.

Sigh.
How have I missed THIS for the last 40 readings???

Why I Proofread My Manuscripts So Many Times (#4)

So, I'm making what I sincerely hope are the FINAL edits on All in the Half-Vampire Family, and I find this line:

I stared back at the curtains.

This implies that the curtains were 1) sentient and 2) staring at Eric first.
That's a bit creepier than this scene was intended.
It's fixed now.

Somebody Didn't Pay Attention During 9th-Grade English

I received a tweet last night about the book My Super-Sweet Sixteenth Century (which is on my TBR list).  The tweet said:

...the romance was greater than Romeo and Juliet, or at least, it was really close to being it!

Uh, so is this person implying that more than 6 people in Rachel Harris' new book die because of the immaturity and impulsiveness of a hormone-fueled pair of teenagers?  Or did the person tweeting just never actually read/see/think about Romeo and Juliet?
I haven't had a chance to read Harris' book yet, but it sure doesn't sound like a tragedy to me.
And this tweet sounds like more of an insult than a compliment.

A Short, Visual Summary Of My Last Two Weeks

Where I was last week:

Where I've been this week:

What I've done today:

and this:

and this:

But all I really want to do is this: