End Of The Year e-Giveaway!

Okay, I tried this over the Black Friday weekend, and no one cared.
Let's try again.
It's that between-the-holidays letdown time.  How about a gift for yourself now?  Or how about a gift for a kid?  A gift that doesn't require any shopping on your part or any battling snow and slush for a parking spot?  Then I have a contest for you!  Both Half-Vampire e-books and a song.  (Remember, if you win this to gift to a kid, said teenager does not have to have an e-reader; there are free kindle apps for phones.  Most of my students like to read on their itty-bitty phone screens.)

Here's what the winner will get:

1) An e-copy of Confessions of an Average Half-Vampire.

2) An e-copy of All in the Half-Vampire Family.

3) An MP3 download of Eric's (that's the protagonist of both books, if you didn't already know that) favorite Scott Joplin song, "Maple Leaf Rag."  (The song's very important in H-V Family.)

You must have an Amazon account and you must be willing to give me the e-mail address associated with that account if you want your prizes.  I will delete all your personal information after I send the prizes.  (If you're under 13, you must have your parent enter for you.  If you are 13-18, please have your parents' permission before you enter.  I am not responsible for computer or website glitches.)

Okay, that's the business end of it.  Are you ready to enter?  Go for it!

UPDATE ON 12/29/12:  People, I am a school teacher.  I LOATHE CHEATERS!!!  I've already checked rafflecopter and removed FIVE people's entries because they CHEATED.  Look, folks, I can check pinterest and twitter and goodreads and my blog to see if you're actually following.  And if you enter the contest saying you follow but you're lying, I DELETE you.  (And I'm seriously tempted to publish names.  Honestly, this disgusts me.  How hard is it to click a follow button?)
Enter honestly.  If you don't, you won't win.  Period.  I will delete all lying entries.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Christmas Lasagna: The Recipe

I've had at least one person arrive at my blog every day for the last 2 weeks after searching for "Christmas Lasagna."  I had no idea last year that this post would be so popular.  I've even had a couple of e-mail requests for recipes.
Thus, without further ado, here's my recipe for Christmas Lasagna.  (Do keep in mind that I'm not one of those people who measures everything exactly -- unless I'm making something finicky.  Lasagna is not finicky.)  (Also, this is not true lasagna, as I find working with true lasagna noodles to be irritating.  This is fake lasagna or lasagna casserole.  It's much easier.)

Pre-assembly (can be done the day before):
1) Cook about 16 oz. of your favorite macaroni and drain.
2) Mix 1 to 1 1/2 lbs. of freshly ground turkey breast with 1 to 2 teaspoons of Penzey's breakfast sausage seasoning.  Then cook, chopping up the meat into bite-sized chunks, and drain.
3) Thaw and squeeze until nearly dry about 16 oz. of frozen spinach.
4) Mix 16 oz. of low-fat ricotta cheese with about 12 oz. of non-fat cottage cheese.  Season with garlic, Penzey's pizza seasoning, and Penzey's black and red.  (Add extra dried red peppers if you like it hot.)

To assemble:
1) Take a hefty 9"x 13" baking pan (the one I prefer is about 3" deep) and spray with non-stick cooking spray.
2) Then cover the bottom with cooked macaroni -- no more than 1/2 an inch deep or the rest of the ingredients won't fit.
3) Layer the cooked turkey sausage over the macaroni.
4) Distribute blobs of the ricotta mixture evenly over the meat and macaroni. (You don't need to smooth it out; it will expand and melt as it cooks.)
5) Distribute the spinach over the top of the ricotta mixture.
6) Carefully pour 16 oz. of your favorite spaghetti sauce over the top of all, smoothing carefully with a spoon to cover the entire casserole.
7) Cut thin slices of sharp cheddar cheese and place on top of the sauce.
8) Refrigerate (covered) until ready to cook.

To cook:
I have an older oven, but I find that baking this at 325 F. for 45 minutes to an hour is about right.  If you have a newer, hotter oven -- especially if it's a convection oven -- cooking times may vary.  Just keep checking on it.  It's done when the top cheese is melty and when everything is gooey in the center.

Serve with a veggie tray and dips or a tossed salad.

Note: This can be made vegetarian (not vegan).  Simply either delete the turkey altogether or use cooked, seasoned TVP for a meat flavor.  (Don't use tofu.)

Happy Holidays

May this season find you with your chin up, your back to the weather, and your nose aglow for new horizons.

My Before-The-New-Year Goals

Ideally, I'm going to clean the house, grade 3 classes' worth of tests, finish a second draft of The (Dis)Appearance of Nerissa MacKay, and get another revision done for another proof copy of Becoming Brigid so I can get it out to a copy editor (English teacher or other well-trained, English-doused friend) in January.  We'll see how it goes.
But I have finished 2 chapters of Brigid editing in 2 days so far.  And I fixed the vacuum.  That's a good start.

In other news, Sam at Falling Books is planning to post a review of All in the Half-Vampire Family and host a giveaway in the new year.  And Brigid Kemmerer has offered to do an interview with me as well.  :)

Best Limerick Of The Year

So, I usually teach poetry in November and December.  And to help my advanced 9th graders get a better grip on meter, I have them spend about half an hour writing limericks one day.  This lesson never fails to be a big hit.  Really -- silly, insulting poems with an annoying beat -- what more could they want?
Of course, I have to tell them that for school purposes, there limericks must be no worse than a PG13 rating.  This usually draws groans from the class.  And every year, I follow up those groans with the same joke: "This means, of course, that you may NOT write the famously unfinished limerick, 'There once was a girl from Nantucket.'"  Inevitably, there is about a 3 second pause while they all work through the possible rhymes for Nantucket, and then the laugh really loud and spring into action, determined to write a poem that cuts as close to the edge as possible without actually breaking the rules.
It's awesome.

But this year had an added twist, for one girl (an exceptionally bright one, I might add, as you can guess from the words of her limerick) handed me this delightful little bit of limerickery:

There once was a girl from Nantucket
Who told all the men they could chuck it.
The men, yes, those men,
Those embarrassing men --
Fools, next to the girl from Nantucket.


Supreme win on this one, I think.
I put a gold star on her forehead (the ultimate honor of humor in my classroom).

Rules And Punishments For Wet, Crowded Parking Lots In December

I had to go to both the post office and the grocery store today, and, after fighting a wide variety of neanderthals and peasants, I have developed this list.

Rule #1: No one who doesn't actually need a handicapped spot shall be allowed to use said handicapped spot, even if the car in question has a handicapped sticker or license plate.  Offenders shall be chained to a wheelchair or a walker for a week to see how it feels.

Rule #2: Anyone who stands in an empty parking spot, yakking away to a friend, while forcing cars to idle waiting to get into a spot and then shouts cusswords at the drivers who dare to beep a horn at them shall be rolled in slush until soaked then left outside without a key for a period of not more than 2 hours.

Rule #3: Absurdly large SUVs and pickup trucks that fill up parking spaces clear to the yellow lines shall not be allowed at this time of year.  Violators shall have their vehicles redecorated by toddlers who have been provided with Disney-themed stickers.

Rule #4: Anyone who parks at an angle in order to prevent other cars from parking in spots next to them, thus taking three parking spaces for themselves, shall have photos of their license plates posted on Facebook and their home addresses given to 8th graders who have been provided with eggs.

Steampunk Stuff

I love steampunk, but I've had kind of a hard time finding steampunk books I really, really love.
I love Gail Carriger's Soulless series, but there's an awful lot of paranormal distracting the steampunk.  And, of course, it's not suitable for junior high school readers, so I can't put it in school.
I read Kenneth Oppel's Airborn and really liked it, but it's really more action/adventure than steampunk.  Still, it's good, and I've got it on my reading lists.  And the man writes very well.
And then there's his This Dark Endeavor and Such Wicked Intent, supposedly steampunk.  But, although I enjoyed both books very much, I found them more about alchemy than steam.  Besides, they're prequels to Frankenstein, which was written in 1816 in Switzerland, not really Victorian London-y at all.
And I was so excited for Tiffany Trent's The Unnaturalists, but it was almost ALL about magic and romance, and I felt the book had been mislabeled by those who held it up as steampunk.  It was really more of a fantasy book set in a museum in Victorian London.
I was underwhelmed by Kady Cross's The Girl in the Steel Corset, which had some fun steampunk elements in it but never once made me care about the characters.
Of course, there is the masterful writer Philip Reeve and his Fever Crumb series.  Definitely steampunk.  So very well done.  But everything I've ever read by this guy is so dark and depressing.
So, Scott Westerfeld's Leviathan series is great.  I love it.  It's good for guys and girls.  It promotes feminism, it has action and adventure, it's set at the right time period, and it's all steampunk/alternate history and no magic.  Phew.  That's one really safe option for the junior high.
I also fell in love with Lev AC Rosen's All Men Of Genius.  It's totally steampunk.  It's a Shakespeare parody.  It's feminist.  It's action/adventure + romance.  AND it has Oscar the swearing rabbit.  But it's definitely high school material.  Sex is referred to waaaay too often for this to be in a junior high.
And then there was The Dark Unwinding by Sharon Cameron.  It was sort of steampunk.  It had, you  know, clocks and things.  But to me it felt like a story for young children, like a Santa Claus-in-his-village story.

But then we come to this:

The Friday Society by Adrienne Kress.
This was awesome.
It has feminism in which the women are not only independent, but in which they realize that being independent doesn't necessarily mean sleeping with every possible guy.  It also has women working together to solve problems instead of working against each other to get a guy or else undermine each other.  The only downside is that they're all pretty, which is depressing.  I felt that instead of having them all be Charlie's Angels, at least one of them should have been ordinary-looking.
It is steampunk.  No magic, no paranormal.  Just Victorian London, inventions, explosions, and really cool weapons.
It's funny.  Okay, sometimes it's a bit cartoony.  And the secondary villain was really obvious from the start.  But it was still funny.
It's action/adventure.  Murder, explosions, Jack the Ripper spin-offs, Jeckyll and Hyde philosophy, underground tunnels, Burke and Hare references, and a parrot that's almost as much fun as Rosen's Oscar the rabbit.  (But not quite.)
And it's clean.  I can put it on my school lists.
Yeah, I think I'm in love.